What I am, what I am not.

Usually the only hour I have to myself is early in the morning after I send my daughter to school. I wake up at 6.15 am every day, try to wake her up, make breakfast, try to wake her up again, get her clothes ready, try to wake her up some more, until it’s 7.15 and she is walking out the door still rubbing her eyes. After I wave goodbye to her from the window, I turn on the news and have my breakfast. That’s my hour. You see, I’m not a selfish person. The rest of my day is dedicated mostly to my job, my coworkers, work friends, meetings, lunches, a few parent-teacher conferences, and last minute grocery shopping. I work late hours, not because I have to, but because I want to. My team and I care about the work we produce and try not to settle with mediocre.

I miss having dinner with the family during the week but make it home in time to put my daughter to bed after which I spend some time with my husband, maybe call my mother or mother-in-law to check in and collapse, exhausted, on my bed. Even though I drift off to sleep even before my head hits the pillow, I still try to read a few pages, whatever I can, so that my brain will continue to learn while I rest.

Weekends are filled with birthday parties, weddings, gatherings with friends and family, maybe a movie or a museum visit or a concert. (I admit, sometimes even the weekend is work.)

You see I’m not a selfish person; but a mother, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister, a professional, a friend, a volunteer, a teacher, a motivator, a coach, organizer of birthday parties and reunions, planner of vacations and office parties. I’m happy when people around me are happy.

I’m not a vandal. I’m not a plunderer. I’m not an extremist. I don’t belong to any political parties or any other social movement. I have been going to Taksim since June 1st to protest the current Turkish government and its policies, but I have never broken anything, written on anything, never carried a weapon or even littered. I shouted my slogans, chatted with a few friends, took some pictures, applauded performances and breathed in tear gas. I hoped last night’s speech would change something. I stayed up until 3 in the morning even though I had to get up at 6.15 again this morning. Unfortunately the speech once again pointed its dirty finger at me and told me I’m everything that I am not.

So I will continue to protest and go to Taksim until the government changes its tune, because you see, I’m not a selfish person.